Do you sit in your home, with friends or alone,
And think that your chairs are not great?
Are they threadbare and crude? Have the legs all been chewed?
In short, are your seats in a state?
If it’s sadly true that our words describe you,
We’ve an answer for all of your woes.
No longer despair at the state of your chair,
For who even wants one of those?
If you have a passion (as we do) for fashion,
You’ll know that no chair’s is in style.
The latest new craze is not cashmere or baize,
But wood that’s been here for a while.
Yes! We talk of the pew, like the one under you,
The one that is both old and wooden.
And if you can’t see your pew’s clear quality.
We assure you that this pew’s a good’un.
Could buying a pew be the right choice for you?
Of course, that can’t just be denied!
If you crave a seat that’s the talk of the street,
It’s easy what you must decide.
Some say, it is true, there’s a risk that a pew
Might make your guests far too impressed.
But we still declare that it’s no more than fair
That your home has only the best.
So when it is meet that you get a new seat,
You can just purchase one of these pews!
We will make you an offer that cannot be beat,
It’s simply absurd to refuse.
This was written for a friend of mine who needs to sell some pews. Her church is updating their seating arrangements, and so they have a bunch of blessed benches that they need to dispose of.